It’s March already! It’s been a hard few months. But we’ve reached a few milestones. S. loved drawing lines and dots all the time. One day, she got up and just started drawing faces. Just like that. With eyes, nose, mouth and ears… She also gets on the potty for pipi. In the beginning there was a lot of chocolate bribing involved. We are the best parents ever.
E. is walking! She’s practicing hard every day and seems very pleased with herself. She likes eating speculoos, paper and cardboard. D. is more into climbing. She’s climbing the couch, the step stool, toys, me, etc. They both love nursery rhymes and are starting to say their first words. Night night, bye bye, ball, chest. They wave goodbye and blow kisses. They interact with each other and start to play with S. too. They point at things and dance a lot. And from now on, they are only getting their dummies during nap and sleep time. So grown up.
I haven’t been myself lately. Which is probably why there weren’t any updates for all these weeks. I’m not sure what it is exactly that’s wrong or bothering me. But I feel trapped. I’m frustrated and I’m disappointed. And I wrongfully resort to anger which C. can attest to. There isn’t really anyone else I can be myself with. I guess I am a bit lonely here and I still struggle with ridiculous paranoid ideas about the true intentions of others. I feel like everyone has read Dale Carnegie.
Most of all, I think I feel deprived of any sort of mental challenge and I think I might be one of those people who truly needs it. But all I do every day is talk baby. I love my children above all and I love taking care of them, but I need fuel too. I’m trying to find it in working out and grading my first sweater knitting pattern, I’m redesigning my website and in the process I even decided to pick up Sass. But I lack the time to make enough progress to keep me motivated. I could probably do it in the evening, but I’m usually so burned up that I don’t want to think anymore and I just mindlessly indulge in watching movies or tv series.
I like to immerse myself in fiction more then ever these days. I’ve shunned the news for weeks but now I’m reading my sources again. Sometimes I think about things too much and then I get into dark territory and it gets really scary. And it’s freaking me out. How is the world going to be a few years from now? Or tomorrow for that matter? I’m practicing my abilities as an escape artist, forcing myself to think unicorns and rainbows to get some sleep. I know I shouldn’t let things affect my daily life, but I brood. I ponder. I mull things over and over, the way D. can twist and turn her little dummy cloth and fidget with it for hours. It’s what I do. It’s who I am. I guess in a way we’re all lucky all I have to do is talk baby all day.